In President Obama’s world — let’s call it “the real world” — he was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, on Aug. 4, 1961. (Also in this world, carbon emissions are altering global climate patterns.)
Bill Keller has upped the ante. After offering MSNBC host Rachel Maddow $10,000 last summer if she could produce President Barack Obama’s “long-form Hawaiian birth certificate,” he’s now saying he’ll give MSNBC’s Chris Matthews $100,000 for the same document.
Don’t do it, Chris! Keller is one of those televangelist types, and they’re much better at taking money from the public than giving it out. (Well, Keller used to be a televangelist; the audience wasn’t much interested in the “tele” part of his evangelizing and off the air he went. Now he’s “the world’s leading Internet evangelist” — at least according to him. There are no metrics for measuring these things, however, which is why I can claim with equal validity to be “the world’s leading Internet apprentice pundit.”)
I don’t know why Keller thinks Maddow or Matthews would have Obama’s “long-form” birth certificate; I don’t even have my own. Do these things even exist? The next thing we know, Keller will be calling for Obama’s “long-form” driver’s license or his “long-form” college diploma.
I have no idea what Keller is talking about — him or his fellow reality-averse Obama opponents. Used to be if you were against a president, you opposed his politics, or his policies, and that was fine. Now, to be an opponent of the president is to be opposed to every element of the world in which he exists.
In President Obama’s world — let’s call it “the real world” — he was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, on Aug. 4, 1961. (Also in this world, carbon emissions are altering global climate patterns, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 and socialism is a structure of common management and ownership of resources, not mere taxation, but we’ll let these pass for now.)
In “the Keller world,” Obama is not just a political enemy, he is a pretender to the Oval Office — wrongfully and illegally elected owing to the fact that he was born, well ... outside the United States somewhere.
Unfortunately for them, Honolulu was part of the United States on Aug. 4, 1961 — a new part; it had been a state for fewer than two years, but it was in the union. So we get all this silliness about long-form birth certificates.
(By the way, for photos and other supporting documentation of the president’s birth certificate, not that you need it, go to www.factcheck.org/
It’s all getting a little tiresome two years into the Obama administration -- and a little lazy. There are now legitimate policy issues with which one can debate the merits of the president. And they would make for far more useful discussions than birth certificates.
It’s time for the Bill Kellers of the world to take a long-form walk off a short-form pier.
Messenger managing editor Kevin Frisch’s column, Funny Thing ..., appears each Sunday in the Daily Messenger in New York. Contact him at (585) 394-0770, ext. 257, or via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.